The Connection Specialist:
Dandelion Quills

Julie Vogler

Jan 203 min read

Relationships

Trauma Bonds are NOT about Shared Pain

Romanticizing the idea of trauma bonds as connection through shared pain obscures the reality of what they really are: dysfunction and abuse

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Dispelling Assumptions About Dismissive Avoidants

Jan 25 min read

Relationships

Dispelling Assumptions About Dismissive Avoidants

Avoidants need to feel accepted to even try changing...no one is motivated to change when they feel attacked.

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Dec 28, 202410 min read

Relationships

Escaping the Snow Globe Trap

Changing Generational Patterns Changing the Story for the Next Generation In the recently released movie Red One , there's a scene that...

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What Makes Us Susceptible (Breadcrumbing Pt. 3)

Sep 10, 20249 min read

Relationships

What Makes Us Susceptible (Breadcrumbing Pt. 3)

Scarcity masked as abundance skews our calibration, priming us to normalize the bare minimum.

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My Descent into Starvation (Breadcrumbing Pt 2)

Sep 3, 20247 min read

Relationships

My Descent into Starvation (Breadcrumbing Pt 2)

By accepting breadcrumbs, I had justified the doling out of love until it was just a drip, which was covert emotional abuse.

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Subsisting on Love Crumbs (Breadcrumbing Pt 1)

Sep 2, 20243 min read

Relationships

Subsisting on Love Crumbs (Breadcrumbing Pt 1)

Love starvation: when your partner gives you just enough love to keep you hooked...

30 views

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Aug 19, 20248 min read

Relationships

The Secret Behind Love Languages

Do you know what really determines the way someone receives love? Explore with me how our love languages are formed, using my own as an exa

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Aug 9, 20244 min read

Relationships

A Phrase Stronger than "I Love You"

Validation makes a person feel understood and accepted. "That makes sense" opens the door to loving deeper.

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Aug 7, 20245 min read

Relationships

Are You Motivated or Are You Inspired?

Motivation and Inspiration are often used interchangeably but they are very different energies.

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Aug 5, 20247 min read

Relationships

Try Softer

Have you ever destroyed something in your attempt to make it better? When you let go of your need for control, everything relaxes into place

42 views

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Jul 29, 20248 min read

Relationships

Hurt Versus Harm and Pandora's Box

Consequences of lying by omission is loss of trust which harms the relationship and destroys love.

30 views

1 comment

Carelessly Crossing Lines Cancels Connection

Jul 28, 20247 min read

Relationships

Carelessly Crossing Lines Cancels Connection

Ignorance doesn’t absolve you of responsibility. Be humble enough to accept that you inadvertently cause pain and problems. Be...

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Jul 25, 20245 min read

Relationships

Don't Spook the Ghost

Keeping the stakes small for the sake of holding onto what little you can get creates an aching void you become afraid to lose. Who is...

43 views

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Jul 25, 20244 min read

Relationships

Gut or Ghost

When you're angry, agitated, anxious, or afraid, how do you know if it's your intuition warning you or if the present situation is...

28 views

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Jul 9, 20246 min read

Relationships

Calm is Code for Functional Freeze

Unaware we are even numb, we operate...and even love...on autopilot.

36 views

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Jul 1, 20249 min read

Relationships

Every Man For Himself

My whole body went rigid. My lips tingled. I didn’t look over at my boyfriend. I think I forgot he was even there. I was all alone, trapped

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Jun 21, 202412 min read

Relationships

Long Distance Nice Guys

Distance can conceal a man's identity from his romantic partner when he is afraid of being fully known. When his dual reality collides, how

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